Friday, July 16, 2010

I was pregnant

Only very few people knew bout this...
Now i'd like to confess the truth in this post.

I was pregnant...
My baby was already 8 months...

I was lying down thinking about my future. I will be going to pursue my degree next year.
And this baby of mine will soon be born. Being pregnant gave me such a wonderful feeling. The feeling of expecting a baby =) I was really happy.

I went to my brother's house, he wasn't there, my sister-in-law was at home. I was wearing pants and it's really uncomfortable because it's sort of tight, pushing my belly. I asked my sis-in-law for a kain batik. I really need to change to something loose. She then said, "Haa.. baru kamu tawu macam mana tak selesa time pregnant... hehe". I smiled.

Despite the uncomfortable-ness i had to go through during the pregnancy, I was really excited to see my baby, to raise him/her, to hear him/her calling me 'Mama'.

After I changed into kain batik, I sat down on the couch and started reading a newspaper.

Suddenly...all of sudden...unexpectedly...I woke from my sleep =.=""

That was a wonderful unforgettable dream^_^ It's sorta ridiculous and I'm just 19. It'd be teen pregnancy but it's kinda a nice experience to know how it feels like to be a mother-to-be though it's just in a dream. =)

Thursday, July 8, 2010


Love is wonderful.
Love is beautiful.

Life is full of uncertainties, we never know what's gonna happen next.

Bitching about things is healthy.

This story was told by my Biology lecturer.

A friend of hers passed away during their second year of degree.
The girl had a boyfriend. When she got back from dating, usually she'd tell them all good things that happened. But actually both of them were having financial problem. He didn't have a stable job. Adding to the problem, they actually bought a car together.

Basically from her story, I can say that the friend actually kept all the sorrows to herself. She kept all the tales of woe to herself up to a point when her body can't take it anymore. She started acting weird. For example, she look at the mirror and say 'Im beautiful, I'm beautiful' (something like this la). And, she suddenly laughed in the class, suddenly moody. There's this one day, they had a group presentation. The others told the lecturer that she's not going to present because she;s not feeling well. During the presentation, she actually got up from her seat and came in front to do her part but suddenly she was blank and she just stared at the board. After some time, her brother noticed the change in her behaviour so he took her to the hospital. She was admitted to the mental ward.

The doctor asked the friends (including my lecturer) to come and see her and the doc need to get some details too. Her condition was pathetic. She was umm... wrapped (I don't know how to describe this but she's in that particular outfit that restricts the movement of mentally troubled people). She cried and asked them to get her off the outfit. She still remember her friends. Sadly, as time passed by, she started to forget things. She forgot how to do many things, how to go to the bathroom and more.

Several months (or weeks, I don't remember) later, she died suddenly. On the day of her funeral, blood came out from her ears, nose (rongga2 badan la.. what is this called in english eh? body holes? ok, sounds wrong). After being checked, that happened because of something like internal bleeding. Her brain was severely damaged.

Another sad thing is - her boyfriend never show up ever since she was admitted to the hospital.