Alhamdulillah this morning dipertemukan dengan this vid on my facebook wall and alhamdulillah digerakkan hati to click the 'Play' button and listen to this wonderful speech by Wardina despite the fact that she acidentally left her slides at home and not feeling very well due to high fever the day before. This is a must-listen video, tak watch takpe :)
The struggle to become a better muslimah everyday. I believe many are going through this struggle, at different phases, some might be struggling to wear a hijab, some might be trying hard to break some bad habits, some might be dealing with various dilemmas faced as they want to improve themselves. Everyone has their own struggle, everyone has their own story, so do i and so do you.
Had a conversation with a sister yesterday. Yeah, i think i should start calling my muslim sisters 'sister' because that's who they are kan..? :D She, that wonderful girl with whom I chatted with yesterday, knows almost exactly about my past, how i used to be and how i became worst, the things i am truly ashamed of, things that stays at the back of my head but im not sure if i can ever speak of it and she too knows how i am today. During the conversation, she did mention some of the things I did, the point when I went from wrong to superwrong. The words felt like needles pricking my heart. It hurts to even listen about my superdumb actions back then. Superduperseriouslyundeniablydumb I must say. I was in a relationship back then... but love is pure, love is a gift from God and I don't think that's what we had in our hearts back then. Tak masuk lagi about going back home late at night (or shall I say superduperearrrrrly in the morning), tight jeans, tight shirts, short hijab etc etc. I hardly let go of my past, it kept on haunting me. That regret feeling.
So, this friend, she didn't judge me....she didn't judge.. like at all..*teary-eyed* This is what she said -
The struggle to become a better muslimah everyday. I believe many are going through this struggle, at different phases, some might be struggling to wear a hijab, some might be trying hard to break some bad habits, some might be dealing with various dilemmas faced as they want to improve themselves. Everyone has their own struggle, everyone has their own story, so do i and so do you.
Had a conversation with a sister yesterday. Yeah, i think i should start calling my muslim sisters 'sister' because that's who they are kan..? :D She, that wonderful girl with whom I chatted with yesterday, knows almost exactly about my past, how i used to be and how i became worst, the things i am truly ashamed of, things that stays at the back of my head but im not sure if i can ever speak of it and she too knows how i am today. During the conversation, she did mention some of the things I did, the point when I went from wrong to superwrong. The words felt like needles pricking my heart. It hurts to even listen about my superdumb actions back then. Superduperseriouslyundeniablydumb I must say. I was in a relationship back then... but love is pure, love is a gift from God and I don't think that's what we had in our hearts back then. Tak masuk lagi about going back home late at night (or shall I say superduperearrrrrly in the morning), tight jeans, tight shirts, short hijab etc etc. I hardly let go of my past, it kept on haunting me. That regret feeling.
So, this friend, she didn't judge me....she didn't judge.. like at all..*teary-eyed* This is what she said -
"Well, Syaitan always try to make way in every non-halal relationship. It's okay, keampunan Allah itu luas. memory stays...so that we wont repeat the same mistakes dear...If you can easily forget the mistakes, you also will easily repeat them...We are still young... We make mistakes... We have to move on... Dont dwell in our journey... At least you have realised your mistakes... You should be grateful that Allah give you the hidayah."
The conversation then went to about life partners (well, somehow the conversation went thattt way =.=""). Told her, i wonder, if one day i were to be someone's wife, if Allah wills it, how could i confess to my future husband about my past. She then simply said, "just tell him that it's just a stupid immature act. If Wardina can do it, why not you...". And when I said to her "What kind of guy who would accept a girl like me..?". Her answer was simple, "a guy that knows the fact that no one is perfect... And a good guy will acknowledge that without judging you". masha-Allah, I can't thank Allah swt more for those words of hers that was so relieving, like a chicken soup for the soul. And of course, masha-Allah and alhamdulillah for bringing in wonderful people in my life. dear people in my life, each and everyone of you are special :) subhanallah.
Iman increases and decreases. We forget things. We repeat mistakes. And masha-Allah, he still gives us the nikmat and rahmat of being able to say "Astaghfirullahalazim" everytime we did something wrong. Allah has promote kindness in His sifat and in the al-Quran - the al-Quran starts with "In the name of Allah the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate :) Let us all be kind and compassionate towards each other. A reminder for myself as well.
Iman increases and decreases. We forget things. We repeat mistakes. And masha-Allah, he still gives us the nikmat and rahmat of being able to say "Astaghfirullahalazim" everytime we did something wrong. Allah has promote kindness in His sifat and in the al-Quran - the al-Quran starts with "In the name of Allah the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate :) Let us all be kind and compassionate towards each other. A reminder for myself as well.
For those struggling like me, may Allah grant us all strength to become a better muslimah everyday :)
1 comment:
:'(
:) :)
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