between

Seoul Land, 2012

because I published my previous entry, I believe I must publish this one as well.

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One evening an old man told his son about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “Son, the battle is between 2 wolves inside us all. One is evil - it is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, guilt, lies, and ego. The other wolf is good-it is joy, peace, love, serenity, humanity, kindness, faith, compassion, truth and hope.” 

The son asked his father. “Which wolf wins?”  

The old man replied “The one you feed”

that was my sister's fb status few days back. find that a very good reminder to control the emotion. but i guess i accidentally overfed the bad wolf in me which then increased the intensity of the guilt and regret feeling for something that's already over. bygones are bygones.

regarding the previous entry, I talked much of my past. i guess i overlooked this hadis -

“Seorang Muslim itu saudara bagi Muslim yang lain. Dia tidak menganiayanya dan tidak pula membiarkan dia teraniaya. Siapa yang menolong keperluan saudaranya maka Allah akan menolong keperluannya pula. Siapa yang menghilangkan kesusahan seorang Muslim, Allah akan menghilangkan kesusahannya di hari kiamat. Dan siapa yang menutup keaiban seorang Muslim, maka Allah SWT akan menutup keaibannya di hari akhirat.” (HR. al-Bukhari)

syukran, sister, for reminding me. my sister tegur me - while i mention about my past, i might indirectly membuka aib those yang mungkin terlibat sama and as a muslim, as mentioned in the hadis, i should never do that. astaghfirullah, i never had that intention. my bad.

besides that, sister too told me, if i've repented, asked for His forgiveness, insha-Allah, He'll accept and insha-Allah He will tutup aib tentang yang lepas. what happened in the past shall remain between me and Him. that's it. I should not bangkitkan this matter or confess it unless akan membawa kemudharatan and my past...there's nothing important that need to be confessed.

i am somehow reminded of this, something i've read but it happens to be i forgot...my bad, again -

“Seluruh ummatku akan dimaafkan (kesalahannya), kecuali orang-orang yang membuka aibnya sendiri; dan termasuk membuka aib sendiri, seseorang di malam hari melakukan kesalahan, kemudian esok harinya Allah menutupinya, lantas ia berkata (kepada orang lain): Hai fulan, tadi malam saya sudah berbuat begini dan begini. Padahal semalam aibnya ditutupi oleh Rabbnya, maka pada  pagi harinya dia membuka tabir Allah itu atasnya.” (HR. al-Bukhari)

quoted from here  - Menutup aib yang paling utama ialah aib diri sendiri, yang Allah telah menutupinya dan Allah telah memuliakannya kerana merasa bersalah dan merasa malu darinya, iaitu dengan memberi keampunan kepadanya sebagaimana sabda Rasulullah s.a.w. dalam sebuah hadis qudsi yang berbunyi -

"Allah berfirman : Apakah engkau mengetahui dosa ini? Apakah engkau mengenal dosa ini? Ia menjawab, "Ya, wahai Rabb." Sehingga apabila ia telah mengakui dosa-dosanya dan ia melihat pada dirinya bahawa ia akan binasa, Dia berfirman : Aku telah menutupinya atasmu di dunia dan aku mengampuninya untukmu pada hari ini, maka diberikanlah catatan kebaikannya..." (Shahih al-Jami')

masha-Allah. subhanallah.

I believe I should stop talking about apa yang sudah berlalu. Biar simpan dalam ingatan buat pedoman. I think I've told myself that quite a number of times but I end up digging it all back and immerse myself in regret. From now on, I should really stop doing that. insha-Allah, this would be the last time I talk about my past here :) i shall keep it between me & Allah. that's better. insha-Allah.

dear you who are reading this, whoever you are, if i tersalah in anyway, do 'ketuk' me. you are welcome :D

"Our Lord! Condemn us not if we forget or fall into error 2:286