Of akhlak and forgiving

SoLLaT, October 1 2013

Alhamdulillah last sunday night untuk kesekian kalinya dapat lagi gather with beautiful sisters, also classmates, for our weekly lepaking in circle reading quran, sharing knowledge, stories, reminders etc :)

Happens to be this time, I was given the task to speak about akhlak. Interesting but a little scary because sungguh if it requires me to have a truly proper akhlak in order to speak about akhlak then I might never speak of it for my entire life. It's something I'm struggling with. Breaking bad habits is never easy. It's like you've blended so well with it that if you were to leave it, it makes you feel like you're pretending to be someone else (or let's blame the devil for that kind of feeling :P). So yeah, I took the challenge. Perhaps ni cara Tuhan mahu ajar aku atau cara Tuhan mahu beri motivasi. And of akhlak, I'm gonna have to specify on something and somehow somehow I feel like speaking about forgiving. Memaafkan. Sebab kita semua ada masa khilaf dan lupa.

Ada jugak terfikir nak tukar topik tapi entahlah, at the end, masih, tentang maaf juga yang aku cerita. Dan apa jua aku bicara, aku harap, aku manusia yang akan paling ingat, moga Tuhan beri kudrat untuk mengaplikasi segala yang baik-baik.

Speaking of akhlak, as mentioned dalam al-Ahzab 33:21, Rasulullah is the best example. His akhlak is part of sunnah. More often than not, we focus much on sunnah macam cara makan, cara minum, menu makan, pakaian and satu lagi yang cukup famous - poligami. Makan minum thingy, tabik springgg if you could follow the sunnah. Alhamdulillah. Soal poligami is a little bit not as simple as many thought but no, not gonna discuss on that. Basically, kita selalu fokus kat benda fizikal. What about adab Rasulullah bila joking, stuffs Rasulullah do untuk bantu isteri and how he try to please them, how Rasulullah cakap dengan people, how Rasulullah jaga hati others, sifat pemaaf Rasulullah...? They're all sunnah as well. May Allah bless us with the ability to contohi Rasulullah.

Having good akhlak sebenarnya boleh spread positive vibes to people around us. Oh ye, akhlak can be said as attitude mengikut nilai-nilai Islam. And it's not impossible to see a not-yet-muslim portraying a beautiful akhlak. Earlier this semester, I went to School of Languages to register for the pronunciation class I wrote about previously. The teacher in charge wasn't there so another teacher, an Indian lady of late 30s or early 40s gitu helped us. I could still remember vividly how nice she had spoken to me and my friend. We were trying to register for Spoken English but the places were very limited so she helped check the availability of places in each and every group for Spoken English. What happened was only one place is available. We wished to not separate so we asked if we could check the timetable for the second group for Pronunciation since timetable group 1 memang tak dapat lah nak follow, clash dengan kelas. And so she helped check and guided both of us very well to register. What makes her different than many was that she'd call us by name and she'd try to mention our names when she spoke to us despite knowing us for couple of minutes. I don't know, somehow, felt very much appreciated. She made my day :D And my lecturer for Pronunciation class, I guess she sort of doing very well in memorizing our names. She remembers my fullname. Was about to laugh when chatting with a classmate during Pronunciation class yesterday and tuptup! I was called by my fullname to answer her question. Mujur dengar. It was the last factor involved in making vowel sounds - rounding of lips! :)

Again at School of Languages jugak last year or the year before, I accidentally left my surat pengecualian during registration for LSP402 English class. Needed surat pengecualian because I didn't sit for MUET. Panic, I went to the office early morning sebelum my classes start (jadual was padat and time tu saja yang free). So, the kakak kerani asked me to speak to a Puan in the office. I should be asking the lecturer at the registration counter, she said, as highly likely the lecturer will be keeping it. Howeverrr, that means I'd have to wait until 9 am at School of Languages while my class starts at 9 am at School of Pharmacy which happens to be at the other end of the uni. Told the Puan as decently as I could about my situation since I wish to not be late for class and what I got was something like - I don't know, that's your problem. I know... Anyway, an Indian lady, the makcik tukang sapu was sweeping nearby and she heard everything. As I turned to leave, she called me and in such a polite manner suggested that maybe I could wait for a while and if necessary, ask my other classmates to let my lecturer know that I'd be late for class due to that matter. Subhanallah. What a chicken soup for the heart.

Inner beauty translates into how we deal with people.

Kalau sebelum zaman Rasulullah, emphasis on beautiful akhlak was there in stories in the holy Quran. Contohnya, story of Nabi Nuh and his son. I think this is more to tarbiyatul aulad stuff tapi tak pa lah. Despite his son not accepting agama Allah and insulted his usaha to bina the bahtera etc, he still call his son by 'Ya Bunayya' which is said to mean 'Oh my dear son'. Imagine kalau kita these days, takyah these days pun, refer citer Si Tanggang je, sumpah jadi batu right away. In story of Luqman al-Hakim pulak, he'd call his son by 'Ya Bunayya' when giving advises.

Of forgiving...bukan mudah. It's about letting go. Susah. Tambah kalau hati masih sungguh pedih. To forgive sometimes feels like to let that person who've wronged us win. We sometimes want them to feel the torture of guilt. Tapi pada masa yang sama kita turut rasa sakit.

"Dendam itu racun yang kita tenggak sendiri,
lalu kita harap orang lain yang akan mati.
Memaafkan adalah penawarnya." -SAF-

Kalau memaafkan itu sukar, memohon maaf juga sebenarnya sukar. Tak semua antara kita sedia untuk menolak tepi sebentar ego yang ada lalu dengan tulus berkata 'Maafkan saya'. Mengaku salah adakala terasa seperti menyerah kalah. Maka here comes the question, mana satu lagi kita cinta - ego atau ukhuwah.

"Dalam dekapan ukhuwah, kelembutan nurani menuntun kita menjadi anak Adam sejati, memiliki kesalahan, mengakuinya, memperbaikinya dan memaafkan sesama kita yang juga tak luput dari khilaf dan lupa." -SAF-

While menyelusuri sipi-sipi lembaran sirah, terjumpa couple of stories tentang forgiveness dan yang sewaktu dengannya. Salah satunya kisah Rasulullah dengan al-Miqdad. Ceritanya lebih kurang like this. Asif jiddan kalau aku missed mana-mana details. Al-Miqdad is one of the muhajirin yang masa sampai kat Madinah takdirnya tak ada yang membantu dia. So he went to see Rasulullah to ask for help. Since masa tu Rasulullah ada a few kambing, Rasulullah asked al-Miqdad and 2 kawannya yang lain to help milk the goats daily and they too can drink the milk. Happens to be one day, Rasulullah came home late so al-Miqdad thought Rasulullah visited some Ansar people and they must've treated him with good dishes so he thought it's kinda ok to drink Rasulullah's portion of the goats' milk. And so he drank. Felt good indeed but that was followed by guilty feeling and the fear that Rasulullah might du'a something against him. When Rasulullah came back, he saw his milk container was already empty so he made a du'a - O Allah, quench the thirst of those who quenched mine and feed those who fed me. Al-Miqdad who was pretending fast asleep heard the du'a and he thought he could take advantage of the du'a so he woke up and went to check which goat was healthy and best to be made meal. Surprisingly, biiznillah he found that the goats seem to can still be milked since it's unusual that the goats can still be milked at that time. So he milked them and brought the milk to Rasulullah. Rasulullah if al-Miqdad has had his own portion of milk and al-Miqdad was like - finish the milk first, finish the milk first. And Rasulullah finished his milk and al-Miqdad, he felt relieved that Rasulullah got his portion and what happened was some sort of funny which made him laugh so hard. Puzzled Rasulullah was but anyway, al-Miqdad told him the whole thing and Rasulullah's reply was something like - This is the Blessing and Mercy of Allah, if you would have awaked your two other companions, they too would have taken the milk to their best of satisfaction :D Imagine if it was us, sentap barangkali. Refer saja kisah batu belah batu bertangkup. Dek anak habiskan telur ikan tembakul, berlari si ibu menyerah diri pada batu. Mustahil kita mau punya akhlak sesuci Rasulullah namun bisa saja kan kita mohon kekuatan untuk mencontohi.

Lagi tentang memaafkan, saat kita memilih untuk tidak mengampuni, sering kali putus segala senyum mesra, panjang bual bicara, tepuk tampar, gurau senda, gelak tawa bersama. Seolah selangkah pada memutuskan silaturrahim. Sangka kita, ah biar dia rasa, biar dia tahu, marahnya aku. Tapi it's a lose-lose situation sebab....

“Pintu-pintu syurga dibuka pada setiap hari Isnin dan Khamis lalu diampunkan semua hamba yang tidak mensyirikkan Allah dengan sesuatupun kecuali seseorang yang bermusuhan dengan saudaranya. Maka dikatakan: Tangguhkanlah kedua orang ini sehingga mereka berdamai, tangguhkanlah kedua orang ini sehingga mereka berdamai, tangguhkanlah kedua orang ini sehingga mereka berdamai.” (HR Muslim)"

Lagi kisah zaman Rasulullah adalah kesan peristiwa Aisyah r.a. difitinah. Marahnya Abu Bakr sehingga he sort of bersumpah tidak mahu membantu siapapun, kerabat sekalipun, yang terlibat dalam menyebarkan fitnah tentang puterinya. Namun, Tuhan tak izin...

"Dan janganlah orang-orang yang mempunyai kelebihan dan kelapangan di antara kamu bersumpah bahwa mereka (tidak) akan memberi (bantuan) kepada kaum kerabat(nya), orang-orang yang miskin dan orang-orang yang berhijrah pada jalan Allah, dan hendaklah mereka mema’afkan dan berlapang dada. Apakah kamu tidak ingin bahwa Allah mengampunimu? dan Allah adalah Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Penyayang" An-Nur : 22

Apakah kita tak suka Allah ampuni kita. Barangkali dengan maaf itu, bisa dimaafkan mana-mana dosa lain kita. Apakah kita sendiri tak suka diampun, dimaafkan. Apa bukan tidak beriman seseorang itu sehingga dia mencintai saudaranya seperti dia mencintai dirinya sendiri. Subhanallah. 

Pernah satu hari raut wajah Rasulullah s.a.w tampak berseri-seri dengan menampakkan senyumannya.Tertanya Umar lalu bertanya. Sabda Rasulullah s.a.w: 

“Aku lihat ada dua orang daripada umatku yang mendatangi Allah ‘Azza wa Jalla. 

Yang satu berkata, ‘Ya Rabbi, hukumlah orang ini yang mengambil hak dan menganiayaku di dunia.” 

Lalu Allah memerintahkan kepada si zalim itu supaya mengembalikan haknya.

‘Ya Rabbi’, kata si zalim, “Aku tidak lagi memiliki simpanan perbuatan baik yang bisa menggantikan haknya.” 

"Dia sudah tidak memiliki sisa-sisa perbuatan baik untuk meng­gantimu, lalu apa yang kau harapkan darinya?” kata Allah kepada satunya.

‘Ya Rabbi’, pindahkan kepadanya dosa-dosaku. Biar dia yang memikulnya,” katanya. 

Tiba-tiba air mata Rasulullah mengalir membasahi pipinya kerana mengenang hari-hari yang maha dahsyat itu. Baginda berkata, “Hari itu adalah hari-hari yang maha dahsyat, hari di mana setiap orang berusaha untuk melepaskan setiap beban dosa yang dipikulnya.”

Kemudian, Allah berkata kepada si teraniaya, “Wahai Fulan, angkat pandanganmu dan lihatlah syurga-syurga yang tersedia."

"Ya Rabbi, saya lihat negeri yang terbuat dari perak dan istana dari emas yang terhias indah dengan mutiara yang berkilauan. Apakah semua itu Engkau persiapkan untuk Nabi dan Rasul-Mu, para siddiqin dan orang-orang yang syahid? Tidak, kata Allah. Semua itu Aku siapkan bagi siapa saja yang sanggup membelinya.

"Siapakah mereka Ya Rabbi?"

"Engkau juga mampu memilikinya." 

"Bagaimana caranya?" 

“Dengan memaafkan saudaramu itu.” 

Kalau begitu, aku maafkan dia ya Rabbi.’’ 

"Ambillah tangan saudaramu itu dan masuklah kalian ke dalam syurga yang Aku janjikan.” 

Subhanallah. Kalau itu balasannya memberi maaf pada hari akhirat, apatah lagi jika saat kita masih di dunia pada mana bisa kita cari 1001 alasan untuk tidak memaafkan. Anugerah indah pasti bukan dari amal yang mudah. Memaafkan yang memohon kemaafan sudah susah, apatah lagi memaafkan yang langsung tidak mahu mengaku salah. Suka aku ingin berkongsi seperca lagi tulisan SAF -

"Kita memaafkan, kadang bukan karena si bersangkutan layak mendapatkan. Tapi sebab kita berharap ampunanNya; meski diri lebih tak layak lagi. Kita memaafkan mungkin bukan karena dia layak mendapat maaf. Kita memaafkan sebab berharap dipeluk mesra Allah dalam cintaNya."

Moga Tuhan renjis ukhuwah kita dengan cinta lillahi taala, agar lapang dada terima para teman apa adanya, agar sampai masa nanti bisa berpimpin tangan dalam syurgaNya. Jauh sekali merasa layak ke sana, namun, aku kira, mengharap tiada salahnya.

May Allah bless us all.