When Accepting is Unacceptable

I just read today's newspaper and decided to write this post.


A 19-year-old boy jumped into the river after answering a phone call. According to a witness, he looked like he was arguing something with someone on the phone. After the call ended, he sat for a while and then leaped into the river. I'm not sure whether his body was found yet but from the investigation done, his girlfriend's family objected their relationship which might be the reason he had that argument on the phone and decide to jump into the river, commit suicide la easy to say. The thing is - the girl's family didn't accept him.


It is generally accepted that Malaysia is facing a lot of baby-dumping cases nowadays. Recently, a baby was buried alive (macam reverse ke zaman jahiliah lak). There had been so many stories about baby-dumping. Some of these irresponsible women left their babies in front of mosques, some just put the baby in plastic bags, some dumped their babies in the garbage-dumping place (err im not sure what's the word, yang bekas besar untuk buang sampah yang majlis perbandaran punye tue...), some actually burned their babies and macam2 lah. What were they thinking? It's a life we're talking about!

I remember i said 'irresponsible women' above but the fact is, the blame should not be put solely on them. Because they're the ones who got pregnant aka carry the babies? What about the men? The super duper stupid jerk who impregnated them and ask them to abort/dump the baby or do nothing and run away as soon as they knew their girlfriend is pregnant. So, why are these women treating their illegitimate child this way? Mainly because the society would not accept her and her baby. That's why these women are trying to erase what they had done, make things as if they never happen and continue their life as usual though i bet they'd be haunted by the guilt for the rest of their lives.

The thing is - the society could not accept illegitimate children. And they.. they just don't know what to do or where to go. Panic! If they bring the baby home, they might get chased around the village by their fathers with parangs or their parents would disown them. Basically, they would not be accepted. People would look at them in such a way that you'd feel the whole world don't want you anymore. As for men, who'd want that kind of woman? Some with sincere love would but that's a minority. Some friends might leave you. Who'd want to be in that situation?

I just knew yesterday that in Malaysia we actually have this phone line for single mothers in distress. I don't know what's the number though, I heard from my sister. I don't think it is ever advertised or maybe it was but unfortunately the message didn't reach the whole Malaysia. Everyone is supposed to know the existence of that line. And also the house for single mothers. The society should try to accept these people and help them. They made a mistake, we shouldn't let them be and they'd made another mistake. Instead, they should be protected and guided. Some argued that accepting them in the community would mean encouraging pre-marriage sex or teenage pregnancy. There are different ways of accepting things - we can accept something as a norm or accept something as a mistake and try to make things right. The choice is in our hands but in this case i believe this should be accepted as a mistake. Dan bukankah anak itu anugerah Allah...

During last night's family dinner, we were talking about this issue and my stepmother asked my sister who stays in Florida (she came back for holiday) "Dekat US sana takde kes buang anak ke? ". My sister paused for a while and think, and she said "Ada ka eh? Rasa macam takdak...". And she cakap2 la.. It's because over there it accepted in the society to be pregnant before getting married or being a single mom but it's not like they're making it a lifestyle, they prefer to avoid it also. Unlike Malaysia, the churches would fund/make/develop centres for these people to leave their children if they wish to do so, centres for single mothers themselves, they'd give financial aid and more. As my sister said, kadang2 tengok gereja2 nie lagi banyak buat aktiviti kemasyarakatan. I think jawatankuasa masjid kita should start buat aktiviti kemasyarakatan juga.

Banyak problem actually arise dari masalah acceptance. Suicide la, murder la apa la. Teenagers yang terlibat dalam masalah2 sosial mungkin berbuat sedemikian untuk dapat acceptance kawan2. Anak2 buat macam2 untuk dapat acceptance ibu bapa.

Sometimes people need to learn to accept. Though we have a list of possible risks of something, we should still look at the bright side. Impossible is nothing. Here's a good example : Once upon a time a meteor hit Smallville, the next day, the world gets Superman =D