Irony =.=

She asked me "Apa nak buat kalau tak dapat fly?".

I asked her "Apa nak buat kalau tak dapat stay?".

How much do you love me?

Suddenly rindu my nieces...
Rindu both of them datang hug me and say I love you, Tina!
So sweet of them ~

*gambar hiasan*

There they are, Aisha & Sabrina. Zach dekat belakang.

So this is the story...
We're all in the car on our way back home.. I've been layan-ing them with I-Spy game la, Rock Paper Scissors la and macam2 laa... And then they said "Tina, I love you"
So instead of just replying "I love you too", I asked "How much do you love me??"
Aisha said "Infinity and Beyond!"
Then I asked Sabrina "How much do you love me?"
Sabrina said "One hundred!!"
Awww... =D
probably that's the biggest number she could think of...

Kids are so cute, aren't they ~

This a story from last year's Raya break. I went back with my sister's friend (to penang). She has a son, i forgot how many years old but he can speak quite fluently. His name is Faaris. A very cute boy. I spent 2 nights at their place before going back to Penang on the third day. Me and Faaris got along very well. The day before going back to Penang he was playing a hula hoop, then he was hitting his grandma with the hula hoop. The grandma held on to the hoop but he was pulling it so hard that when she loosen her grasp, he straight away fell on the carpet and accidentally bit his own lips, it bled. The next day, in the car, during our journey back to Penang, his mom asked about yesterday's incident and he accused his grandma to be jahat. Hahahha. And then his mom said something that he disagreed with so he said
"Nanti Faaris pukul nenek, pukul Aunty Mashi (his mom's friend who balik skali with us), pukul mama".
He didn't mention my name.
His mom then asked why I was excluded.
Then Faaris answered
"Sebab nanti bila Faaris besar, Faaris nak kawen dengan kak Tina"

Everybody in the car laughed XD Hahahhahaha

I said "Tak nak la kawen dengan Faaris, Faaris pendek."
And he actually merajuk! (and actually hit me too)
And i had to pujuk..
Haha...

Anyway... the thing is - Kids are so cute! Seronok tengok telatah budak2. Haha

2 + 4 = 24

It has been one year since I entered Ausmat.
Something unplanned.
I was so into Chemical Engineering after SPM.
As someone who like to relax a lot, I wanted to take a diploma.
And it was OBJECTED by my dad.
I did not want to go overseas too.
So I never plan to take JPA's offer.
I applied cuz my dad wanted me to.
I entered Kolej Matrikulasi Kedah.
Taking Sains Fizikal.
But then the JPA letter arrived at my house's mailbox.
And my dad seemed like really hoping that I would change my mind.
I pitied him... For the sake of pity... Oh dear.. I changed my mind...
And get myself into something I never wanted.

I find it's really hard to fight the feeling of regret.
I hated it when I do things half-heartedly.
I never liked waking up in the morning with a sudden sadness thinking I shouldn't have changed my mind. =.="
Segala yang berlaku ada hikmahnya. Mungkin ini satu ujian. Mungkin ini satu pengajaran.

So what's with 2 + 4 = 24?
Today our results are out.
Mine.
Ranked 24.
Average 81 i think, did not remember.
It's a B.
Syukur.
Alhamdulillah.

But living a life half-heartedly is like...like...somehow... in a way... meaningless.
Something has to change.
Paradigm or Action.

Speechless!

I was doing my assignment when my 9-year-old niece, Aisha came into my room to chat with me. We were talking2 and I told her that she can go play on my bed if she wants (planning to continue my work). She played with my soft toys, making stories... "..and the little bear ride on the little lamb and both of them went on the raccoon's back..." and so on.

i was then drowned in my work and didn't pay attention to her story until i heard "...God is half boy and half girl...". I was like "How do you know that?", sorry i forgot her answer.. And then i told her "God doesn't have gender ____". She replied something I don't remember and the she said "Wouldn't it be good if there are more Gods so they can get married and have children...".

I was speechless!

When Accepting is Unacceptable

I just read today's newspaper and decided to write this post.


A 19-year-old boy jumped into the river after answering a phone call. According to a witness, he looked like he was arguing something with someone on the phone. After the call ended, he sat for a while and then leaped into the river. I'm not sure whether his body was found yet but from the investigation done, his girlfriend's family objected their relationship which might be the reason he had that argument on the phone and decide to jump into the river, commit suicide la easy to say. The thing is - the girl's family didn't accept him.


It is generally accepted that Malaysia is facing a lot of baby-dumping cases nowadays. Recently, a baby was buried alive (macam reverse ke zaman jahiliah lak). There had been so many stories about baby-dumping. Some of these irresponsible women left their babies in front of mosques, some just put the baby in plastic bags, some dumped their babies in the garbage-dumping place (err im not sure what's the word, yang bekas besar untuk buang sampah yang majlis perbandaran punye tue...), some actually burned their babies and macam2 lah. What were they thinking? It's a life we're talking about!

I remember i said 'irresponsible women' above but the fact is, the blame should not be put solely on them. Because they're the ones who got pregnant aka carry the babies? What about the men? The super duper stupid jerk who impregnated them and ask them to abort/dump the baby or do nothing and run away as soon as they knew their girlfriend is pregnant. So, why are these women treating their illegitimate child this way? Mainly because the society would not accept her and her baby. That's why these women are trying to erase what they had done, make things as if they never happen and continue their life as usual though i bet they'd be haunted by the guilt for the rest of their lives.

The thing is - the society could not accept illegitimate children. And they.. they just don't know what to do or where to go. Panic! If they bring the baby home, they might get chased around the village by their fathers with parangs or their parents would disown them. Basically, they would not be accepted. People would look at them in such a way that you'd feel the whole world don't want you anymore. As for men, who'd want that kind of woman? Some with sincere love would but that's a minority. Some friends might leave you. Who'd want to be in that situation?

I just knew yesterday that in Malaysia we actually have this phone line for single mothers in distress. I don't know what's the number though, I heard from my sister. I don't think it is ever advertised or maybe it was but unfortunately the message didn't reach the whole Malaysia. Everyone is supposed to know the existence of that line. And also the house for single mothers. The society should try to accept these people and help them. They made a mistake, we shouldn't let them be and they'd made another mistake. Instead, they should be protected and guided. Some argued that accepting them in the community would mean encouraging pre-marriage sex or teenage pregnancy. There are different ways of accepting things - we can accept something as a norm or accept something as a mistake and try to make things right. The choice is in our hands but in this case i believe this should be accepted as a mistake. Dan bukankah anak itu anugerah Allah...

During last night's family dinner, we were talking about this issue and my stepmother asked my sister who stays in Florida (she came back for holiday) "Dekat US sana takde kes buang anak ke? ". My sister paused for a while and think, and she said "Ada ka eh? Rasa macam takdak...". And she cakap2 la.. It's because over there it accepted in the society to be pregnant before getting married or being a single mom but it's not like they're making it a lifestyle, they prefer to avoid it also. Unlike Malaysia, the churches would fund/make/develop centres for these people to leave their children if they wish to do so, centres for single mothers themselves, they'd give financial aid and more. As my sister said, kadang2 tengok gereja2 nie lagi banyak buat aktiviti kemasyarakatan. I think jawatankuasa masjid kita should start buat aktiviti kemasyarakatan juga.

Banyak problem actually arise dari masalah acceptance. Suicide la, murder la apa la. Teenagers yang terlibat dalam masalah2 sosial mungkin berbuat sedemikian untuk dapat acceptance kawan2. Anak2 buat macam2 untuk dapat acceptance ibu bapa.

Sometimes people need to learn to accept. Though we have a list of possible risks of something, we should still look at the bright side. Impossible is nothing. Here's a good example : Once upon a time a meteor hit Smallville, the next day, the world gets Superman =D

Si dia yang berambut Oren

Pertama kali ku bertemunya di Kolej Akasia.
Tempat yang lebih spesifiknya adalah longkang kat pintu pagar belakang.
Matanya jelas mempersembahkan sebuah rasa Fear dan akulah Factor nye.
Tubuhnya seperti merayu dibelai.
Kesejukan barangkali.
Ketika itu baru lepas hujan.
Aku cuba manghampirinya.
Perlahan - lahan.
Takut2 langkahku membuatnya takut.

Akhirnya dapat juga membelai kamu!

Dia sangat comel!

Looking for a U-Turn

The Road Not Taken Robert Frost TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;	5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,	10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.	15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

I didn't stand long and look down as far as i could - silly me! now I'm regretful
Deceived by my own perception, Trusted too much on the beautiful promises
Ignoring the little voice in my heart

I chose the one most travelled by, and now i want to make a difference
I'm considering a U-Turn, though there's much to lose in return
But life is fair..always fair
One door closed, Another will be wide open