the learning field

"Ye shall surely travel from stage to stage" 84:19

While some inadvertently perceive marriage or baitul muslim as a reward or an award or maybe an acknowledgement, it might be just another learning field for some.

And while marriage is some sort of a "Level Up!", life isn't Monopoly or The Game of Life or Super Mario or whatever. Life isn't a board game with one or a few paths for the player. In reality, the players walk in their own unique path. And our actions and reactions...and feelings toward things are unique. Well, even our blueprints of life are unique....none of us are coded the same :) Our paths are different, our struggles are different no matter how similar our minds think they are.. for God's plans are beyond our thinking capability. We do not share the same criteria to pass one level in order to go to the next. And our levels might not be the same. Marriage might be Level 3 for a person who's walking in path 1 and it might be Level 5 for someone else walking in path 2.

While typing this, I actually got this epiphany that we don't have to compare. Well yeah, in the Maratib Amal we are introduced to, the levels are something like Individu Muslim then Baitul Muslim then Masyarakat Muslim and it goes on, but it doesn't mean when someone get to move from Individu Muslim to Baitul Muslim, he/she is better than the rest who are still in Individu Muslim stage. Well he/she might be but not necessarily :) We are assigned to different learning fields.

We might sometime think someone is way too childish to even pursue marriage. We might sometime perceive someone is so lacking of this and that to even ask a father for his daughter's hand in marriage. While physical and financial readiness are crucial in pursuing marriage, the willpower to make sure it'll work out is sort of the driver. Willpower might drive one to an ideal physical and financial state to pursue marriage. And of course, with Allah's permission. You never know how different (in a positive way la) a man might be after the 'saat lafaz sakinah' or a lady after a ring is worn on her finger.

I'm definitely not gonna say "Dont judge" or "Dont compare" because at the end of the day we always do, automatically most of the times. It's just that, most of the time, we should open up or minds to the endless possibilities. For sure, this is a note to self too =.="

i feel that it's not typical of me to write about marriage stuffs
and am not much of the right person to do so too
since I well uh have no experience :P
it's just merely a little thought that crossed my mind
then suddenly when I try to put it into words,
it became this long.
well, suddenly.

-----------------------------

Ready is when you want to be ready, no?

epiphanies

#1
Sometimes...
..the heart needs to be broken
to let the dunya out.

Sometimes...
..the heart needs to be torn
to put us on the journey to find the Healer.

kerana sering kita ini...sudah terhantuk baru terngadah.

and if the lacrimation rate exceeds that of the drainage...
...may it overflows to the heart and wash away the impurities.

#2
Kepada yang sabar menanti, insha-Allah ada yang istimewa menanti.
Kepada yang sungguh berikhtiar, insha-Allah pasti semuanya terbayar.
Kepada yang terus percaya, insha-Allah yang terbaik pasti untuknya.
Kepada yang tak henti berdoa, insha-Allah yang ingin digapai tercapai jua.

Kerana kepadanya kembali segala urusan.
Kerana sungguh Dia paling arif dalam merencanakan.

#3
When dreams seem hard to achieve...
congratulations, you get to attend Life's free Patience & Appreciation practical class.

Say Alhamdulillah, dear self, please!
..because  لَئِن شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُم

 i wrote this for me.
if you feel as if it's for you,
then i wrote this for you too :)

For one more day

bought from the book fair at Penang TS! ^_^

 Alhamdulillah. After so much postponing, I finally get to finish For One More Day by Mitch Albom. Cover to cover. Fin! Alhamdulillah. It was the thought 'once the classes have started, I wouldn't have this much time to indulge myself in a good book' that drove me. There was this rumour that is highly likely to be true which is no class on Monday. Alhamdulillah. It wouldn't be so blue :D Besides, there were lotsa things to be settled on Monday. Ahh how I wish for one more day at home and wish the same on the next day and the same on the next next next. Lets just say I wish to not leave home at all :P But then....insha-Allah this is for good. Insha-Allah can pull through. Insha-Allah.

Anyway, i'm not so good at writing reviews but I must say this book has sort of changed my perspective on few things and gave enlightenment on some life situations. James McBride's comment on this book - It will make you blink back tears of nostalgia. It does!


10 quotes from For One More Day :-

#1 In college, I had a course in Latin and one day the word 'divorce' came up. I always figured it came from some root that meant 'divide'. In truth, it comes from "divertere", which means "to divert".
I believe that. All divorce does is divert you, taking you away from everything you thought you knew and everything you thought you wanted and steering you into all kinds of other stuff, like discussion about your mother's girdle and whether she should marry someone else.

#2 I know you don't want love life advice from me, but even if girls find you handsome, that is not a license to be mean. Be nice.

#3 Children get embarrassed by their parents. Sometimes your kids will say the nastiest things, won't they, Rose? You want to ask, 'Whose child is this?'. But usually, they're just in some kind of pain. They need to work it out. Remember, Charley. Sometimes, kids want you to hurt the way they hurt.

#4 A child embarrassed by his mother is just a child who hasn't lived long enough.

#5 So now you know how badly someone wanted you, Charley. Children forget that sometimes. They think of themselves as a burden instead of a wish granted.

#6
"Mom I can always go back to school."
"Going back to something is harder than you think."

#7 Here is what you are going to find out about marriage: you have to work at it together. And you have to love three things. You have to love 1) Each other 2) Your children (When you have some! Hint! Hint!) 3) Your marriage. What I meant by the last one is, there might be times you fight, and sometimes you and Catherine won't even like each other. But those are the times you have to love your marriage. It's like a third party. Look at your wedding photos. Look at any memories you've made. And if you believe in those memories, they will pull you back together.

#8 Mom. It's just a sound really, a hum interrupted by open lips. But there are a zillion words on this planet, and not one of them comes out your mouth they way that one does.

#9 My mother thought it rude to honk for people; years later she would warn my sister that any boy who wouldn't come to the front door was a boy not worth dating.

#10 Reading is like talking, so picture me talking to you. And soon I will be. And then you can have all the ice cream you want! How about that? I love you every day.         Mom

If you've treated someone in a way that
you wouldn't wish for one more day with them
if they were to return to God in the next second,
you know you've treated them insha-Allah, right.
#bignotetoself!

September

Straits Quay (Aug, 2012)

Wake me up when September ends.

It's just human. Some things in life...we wish we could skip them.

When I was little, I wish I could skip the school years. Wish that 13 going on 30 could actually happen and I can instantly arrive at an age at which I've sort of settled down and there are less things to worry about. That was then. Today we have friends posting in Facebook the quote - If Allah brings you to it, He'll bring you through it. And growing up is in a way like climbing a hill/tower or something like that. The higher you go, the wider the view. Some things get even more clearer. And the list of things to worry about gets even longer, no? :)

Wake me up when September ends.

Last year's September was much about getting into uni and going through orientation week. So, there was this slight wake-me-up-when-September-ends feeling =.=" Ah, dear self, be grateful please. And last year's September marks my first time going to classes with the kind of attire I definitely super seriously would never ever put on during my pre-u and school days (or basically - before). And it has been...a year. Alhamdulillah. Still very much adjusting and fixing here there and everywhere.

Wake me up when September ends.

First thing in mind - HariHijau. Few days back I stumbled upon this status update by this lady who I believe, if Allah wills it, she'll be reading this sentence. hehe

"kadang terasa rindu pada zaman jahiliah
siang td lagu black parade dendangan mcr duk terngiang-ngiang tibe2
baru sedar dh lame tggl mcr, taylor swift, kelly clarkson etc..
dah lame bait2 lagu tu luput dr ingtn..
dan baru sedar yg hdyh Allah tu rupenye lg hebat dr lagu2 tu sume
hingga akhirnye aku sedar Allah shja pemberi ketenangan =))"

Kadang.
Sungguh.

waking up one day when life ends,
we all wish not to get up on the 'wrong side of the bed',
don't we T_T

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off-topic

#1

The failed frittatta

Kegagalan ramen frittatta aku adalah hasil sumbangan ketidakseimbangan nisbah bahan. 2 biji telur  tidak mampu menampung beban jumlah bahan-bahan yang aku humban. Rabak jadinya. Masih, kalau kau tanya aku, aku kata sedap.

Base itu penting.
Kalau tak, rabak.

#2

The soup - tonnes (ok, exaggerate) of garlic and ginger, some chopped onion, few drops of soy sauce, separately-cooked potato and chicken. The cooked chicken was then removed from the soup, torn into shreds and stir-fried with some butter and Mustard, Honey & Herb Marinade. Done! :)

Ada empat kali atau lebih aku kosongkan mangkuk itu dan isi semula. Sup dan ayam itu sedap - dari perspektif perempuan yang memasak dengan deria rasa yang sedikit terganggu beberapa hari ini dek serangan penyakit panas sejuk berserta konco-konco beliau - batuk dan selsema. Alhamdulillah, cuma sementara. Pernah ada kawan cerita pada aku, kawan beliau pernah kemalangan. Kecederaan, tambah tolak serius juga di bahagian kepala. Syukur, sembuh sihat selepas itu walaupun tanpa deria rasa.

ada dapur itu satu nikmat.

deria rasa itu satu nikmat.
sihat itu nikmat.

terlepas pandang, selalu amat.

#3

Adam Putra

Anak kepada anak sahabat kepada ibu sahabat aku yang juga sahabat ibu aku. Si kecil ni, bila dah terjaga, mudah sekali renyih manis bila diacah. Saat aku sudah mahu berangkat, aku bangun berdiri, "Aii..", tegur si kecil tu. Masha-Allah :)

#4 Seperti biasa, penyakit sakitrumah melancarkan serangan awal beberapa hari sebelum kemuncak serangan Ahad nanti. Pulang ke Uni - kurang 96 jam di hadapan. Fakta - Jarak rumah ke Uni tanpa kesesakan lalu lintas - boleh jadi kurang 30 minit.

#5 Pernah ketika satu kuliah Maghrib atau Subuh aku tak pasti, ustaz terbabit tanya para jemaah dengan soalan lebih kurang laksana ini - "Kalau saya tanya kalian Lisa Surihani, pasti kalian kenal. Sekarang saya mahu tanya, apa nama sebenar Abu Said al-Khudri, satu daripada mereka yang paling banyak meriwayatkan hadis?  Siapa jawab, dapat hadiah." Sepi.

Aku? Pun sepi.

Saad bin Malik bin Sinan.

#6

I just knew that the polyacrylamide crystal balls, the soil substitute for indoor plants is actually banned in Malaysia since last year due to child safety issues. These crystal balls are useful though. Just bought 2 packets for RM2 each from a nearby nursery. Old stock. There were like only 5 or so left.

#7 Sebuah dialog tahun 2010. Lebih kurang.

"You, I suka lagu ni. Lirik dia...ntah la, rasa macam dapat relate..."

"Jap I dengar. You try dengar lagu ni, best jugak."

Tersentak.
Pertama, beliau itu yang kata best.
Kedua, destinasi masih cukup kabur,
'flight ticket' belum beli,
'wang' entah cukup,
kalau kena masuk 'waiting room' dah,
antara dua, kemana aku?

Kejap je pun tersentak. Leka.